My Girlfriend Wants Me to “Level Up”?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years. We are both in our 40’s.We are happy and we both don’t want marriage in our future, but I keep hearing her tell me to “level up.” I’m home when she wants me home (we live together) we have great sex (or so I think we do since that’s what she tells me) and we are best friends (she tells me that too). So how does a man “level up” in these conditions? My friends say it’s because we rent an apartment and I’m not financially stable. We can’t afford a house and that my income is always fuzzy because I freelance. She works full-time and hates her job while I work from home.  Neither of us want kids. So how do I level up?

– Confusion is Killing Me

Dear CIKM, 

I’m going to tell it straight: she wants the next level of stability and not feel like she’s the one holding things up financially. She works at a job she hates and you’re home freelancing and I’ll bet you might not be cleaning the house and cooking for her every night. If you happen to be the 1% of men that would cook and clean the house while freelancing (so she can just relax when she gets home) then ignore that part.

Basically she probably wants you to be more of a provider and take your financial situation more seriously. She probably wants a home, not an apartment. I’m betting she’s afraid to tell you because she doesn’t know how to motivate  you. Ask her. It’s simple. Just say, “Honey, what can I do to level up so you feel safe?” Then listen. 

You obviously love her and she loves you. Don’t fuck up a good thing. Perhaps you have grown comfortable and she’s getting antsy.  Maybe you could both sit down and create a mutual vision of the future.  That would be a win-win situation.