As a man I’ve always found that squeezing boobs is very calming and relaxing for me. Can you tell me if there are health benefits to touching breasts frequently? Is it also beneficial for the boobs to be massaged? I’d like to think that in general it is a win-win interaction as long as it is consensual.
~ Squeeze Machine
Dear Squeeze Machine,
As long as your not squeezing strangers boobs without consent, and you’re not squashing them in your big man-hands, it appears that squeezing and massaging breasts is not only good for women but it might help prevent breast cancer. You are doing a service to all of your lovers and partners. As for it being a benefit to you, the man, the only thing I found was this tweet on twitter which says that squeezing boobs reduces stress by 70%. It doesn’t specify if the 70% is for you or for the woman at hand. Either way it seems like a win-win situation for sure. (In case you need to build those squeeze muscles here are some nifty hand exercises.) Keep on squeezin’!
I’ve been dating a guy for three months and I’m not sure if he just likes me or loves me. He responds to all of my texts with an XO, he pays for dinners, we’ve had lots of great sex, we cuddle, he has introduced me to his friends and family, he holds my hand, and he tells me I’m beautiful. But sometimes he seems distant when I try and talk about the future. He dodges the conversation when future-talk happens. When I asked him about what he sees for himself in terms of buying a house or traveling he says he doesn’t know what he wants yet. He’s 30 I’m 28. We spend about 3 or 4 nights together, but we are in contact everyday either on the phone or by text. I am in love with him and want to say “I love you” but I’m afraid he won’t respond. Should I drop the L word?
~ Need To Know
Dear Need To Know,
Short answer: he’s definitely into you and if you love him say so. All signs show that you’ve got a good thing going. It’s only been three months, but that’s enough time to know if he’s in love with you. Go for it. Don’t hold back, but be ready for anything. The only way to love is to take risks and be ready for what comes. Being vulnerable is being brave. Here’s the catch: the next time you feel like saying “I love you” to him say it, but only because you mean it not because you need an immediate response. Sometimes it takes time for men to reveal their deepest feelings. However, if he never responds back (after you’ve dropped it maybe two or three times) you can ask, “Do you love me?” If he says he doesn’t know, that’s a no, which means get the hell out of there because you deserve to be loved and move on. If he says yes break out the champagne and get it on!
My husband is away right now and sending me flowers. Which I love!! I just don’t want the daisy and tiger lily mix he keeps getting me. There were two white Lilly’s in the bunch and I again pointed out those were my favorites. How can I get him to get me the prettier ones without being ungrateful? I love that he is trying so hard and I don’t want to discourage him.
~ Thanks for Listening
Let me get this right? You’re COMPLAINING that your HUSBAND is GIVING you FLOWERS but you want prettier ones? I think your husband might want to start giving flowers to a new woman and you might want to start your own flower shop.
In a nut shell: I feel guilty for making my boyfriend be monogamous because I know he was in open relationships before we met and I was in open relationships when we met but I’m tired of being open. After years of trying every swinger-poly-open-relationship I’ve discovered that it constantly makes me anxious and unhappy. But I know my boyfriend wants to be kinky and play with other vaginas! So I’m riddled with guilt being stuck between holding him back from what he wants and sticking to what I know is right for me. I don’t want to lose him. I’m still thinking that I might want to be kinky in the future, but not right now. He’s willing to be monogamous with me, tells me I’m the one for him, and even talks about marriage, but I’m afraid that eventually he will get bored and leave me.
Dear In a Nut Shell,
First, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps deep in his heart he wants one woman to call his own and that woman is you. Kudos for him for adjusting to what you feel comfortable with. It sounds to me like you might be monogamish since you say you might want to be kinky “in the future”. Monogamish is urban slang for a couple that likes to play with others from time to time.
Just enjoy the relationship as is and take in the love that he is offering. Perhaps you could explain that you are willing to consider sex play with others later in the relationship if it feels right, but that you are happy right now and want to see how it works out. Who knows, you might be the one that instigates more. Maybe, maybe not. For now it sounds like you have a wonderful man and you are both happy. Go with the flow, keep expressing your feelings and enjoy the process of getting closer and being in love.
What do you do when your boss and job are pretty swell, but your co-workers are catty women who make you dread being there most of the time?
~ Feeling Empty at Work
Dear Feeling Empty,
“Pretty swell” plus “dread being there most of the time” is where you answered your own question. It’s time to start looking for something that makes you feel excited to wake up in the morning. Start asking around, brush up that resume, meet new people, hire a life coach (wink) or career coach and get that ball rolling again.