Excellent question. Comfortable vaginas and butts equals happiness. The only time I’ll wear an uncomfortable lacy thing is when I know it will be ripped off in less than an hour. Thus, I wear Hanky Panky’s, which claim to sell the “the world’s most comfortable thong” and they are not kidding. I know you said no thongs or wedgies, but those suckers are amazing. They are a combination of cotton and stretch lace. The trick is to not buy them tight. You want to allow the fit to rest gently on your hips and pretty privates. I also happen to love Felina’s, which are at Costco right now.
What is the best way to get over Daddy issues? My dad sucked ass and I realize I’m harboring hatred toward him still.
~ And I’m 40!
Most of our childhood issues actually reveal themselves in our mid to late 30’s and 40’s, which is totally fucked up because you would think that by then we’d be past that. I think the kicker is that once you become your parent’s age resentment pops up because you realize that they could have done better. Perhaps you think about how you might have limited yourself in life because of their actions.
Part of the process is realizing that our wounds are simultaneously our gifts and if we learn a sense of compassion for our past we can heal old wounds. This sense of compassion can bring us greater gifts. Your father was probably doing the best he could at the time and most likely learned his behavior from his father. Past generations were flailing around with no direction, no internet and not many self-help books. Now we have the internet to hopefully evolve a little faster. Remember, you have the power to change and accept your past and move forward and still have a brilliant future. As Tom Robbins said,” It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”
I can work full-time and make more money or part-time and just get by and have more free time. What should I do?
~ Confused with Too Much Coffee
More time can ultimately bring you more joy and more money if you are using your energy towards something you love. I worked part-time to start my life coaching business and to start my writing career. So the question is: what do you want to use your time for? Time is an excellent commodity in a world that claims it has no time. You would be richer than most. Having time to brainstorm new ideas can prove to be more profitable in the long run. I only think people should work full-time if they are truly feeling energized by the work they do. However, if you’re just going to sit around getting high, play video games and masturbate then a full-time job might be more effective.
I’m often asked if I make a better lover because I’m a writer. Since you are a writer and a life coach I was wondering what your thoughts are on this?
~ Showing Off My Skills
Dear Showing Off Skills,
In my experience I would have to say yes. But that’s probably because a) Writers are always looking for a good story b) we like to build suspense and c) we are very imaginative after years of living on strict budgets. Instead of fancy nights out on the town we’ve learned that a couple of half-melted candles, a cheap bottle of wine, and some sexy selections from our favorite tunes and boom it’s on… Bow-Chica-Bow-Wow.
What do you do if you have guests staying with you (family or close friends) back to back consecutively for a month in your space, and you desperately need your private space and alone time? And all these people are here for short spurts like a week or less at a time, so it’s not like I can skip out on any one of them for a few days cause they’re short visits, with no breaks.
~ In a Pickle!
Dear In a Pickle,
You forgot how to say the enlightened no. When you say no to one thing you are saying yes to something else. In this case it’s your sanity. It’s important to make sure you are the number one priority in your life in order to feel calm and happy. When you are happy others are happy. When you are feeling stressed it’s no fun to engage with friends and family and you’ll miss out on having quality time. Best bet: take a few solo walks, and find ways to clear your mind. You might have to hide in the bathroom sometimes. I know this from experience.
Since technically you didn’t give yourself space this time around to plan properly think of it this was for now: it’s an honor that you are so loved! Try your best to enjoy each moment with the precious people that are wanting to see you and know that next time you will arrange your life and your time better. Remember that if you’re not feeling good you can’t make people around you feel good.